A taxi driver in Grenada will greet you before he asks where you're going. In a Jamaican kitchen, someone will press a plate of rice and peas into your hands before you've finished saying hello. Caribbean hospitality isn't a performance laid on for visitors; it's the everyday shape of life on these islands. Knowing a few small rules — how to greet, when to eat, how to dress for church — turns a good holiday into a much better one. None of it is hard, and most of it is simply good manners, edged with local character.

Always start with a greeting

The greeting comes first. Not the question, not the request, not the transaction. Walk into a shop in Kingston or a rum shop in Bequia and say "Good morning" or "Good afternoon" before anything else. The greeting changes with the clock: morning until noon, afternoon until roughly six, evening after that.

Language shifts from island to island, and using the local form is noticed. In Martinique and Guadeloupe, a bonjour as you enter a shop, and bonsoir later in the day. In Cuba, the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico, buenos días. In Curaçao and Aruba, bon dia. English will carry you almost everywhere, but one word of the local language changes the temperature of an exchange.

Titles matter. Mr, Mrs and Miss are used, as are Sir and Ma'am. Older people you don't know are often addressed as Auntie or Uncle, particularly in Trinidad and Jamaica, and it's an affectionate mark of respect rather than a claim of family. Handshakes are standard on introduction; among younger men you may see a handshake finished with a finger snap. Hugs are for people who know each other, so wait to be offered one.

Dress, beaches and places of worship

Beachwear belongs at the beach. Walking into a bank or a supermarket in a bikini top and a towel draws exactly the sort of disapproval it would in a small British town. In town during the day, shorts and a t-shirt are perfectly acceptable; for an evening meal, smart-casual is appreciated.

Church is where dress codes really show. Shoulders and knees covered, no flip-flops, men often in long trousers and a pressed shirt, women in dresses or skirts and frequently a hat. Sunday best is a genuine institution. If you're invited to a service, arrive before it begins, follow the congregation's lead on standing and sitting, and put your phone away. Ask before taking photographs, especially during worship. And when you're invited into someone's home, take your shoes off at the door or ask whether you should.

Meal times and table manners

Breakfast is early, often before eight. Lunch is the main meal in many households, and Sunday lunch after church is a long, generous affair that can roll into the late afternoon. Dinner tends to land between seven and nine, sometimes later. Don't arrive at six expecting to be fed.

Time is generous in social settings. If someone says "come by around two", half past two is normal, and "soon come" can mean anything from five minutes to an hour. Don't take it as rudeness; it's simply a different relationship with the clock. Tours, ferries and flights are another matter — be on time for those. If you're invited for a meal, take something: a bottle of wine, a dessert, fruit or ice. Offer to help in the kitchen and with the washing up. You'll probably be waved away, but the offer is what counts.

At the table

Wait to be told where to sit, and let your host begin. Use the cutlery provided; doubles, rotis and bakes are often eaten with your hands, so follow the people around you. Try a little of everything. Pepper sauce is the one thing to treat with caution — scotch bonnet is not a mild chilli, so ask for it on the side and add it yourself. And if you're offered food or a drink, accept at least a taste; a flat refusal lands badly.

What you'll likely eat

Rice and peas, ackee and saltfish, and jerk pork or chicken cooked over a drum pan in Jamaica. Doubles, roti, callaloo and pelau in Trinidad. Cou-cou with flying fish in Barbados, fungee in Antigua, oil down in Grenada, conch fritters and peas n' rice in the Bahamas. Christmas brings black cake and sorrel; mornings bring bakes and fried fish. Rum punch, coconut water and mauby are the everyday drinks.

Music, liming and the rhythm of the week

Liming — doing very little in very good company — is a skill worth learning. Rushing through a conversation so you can get to the next thing marks you out immediately. Music is public here: soca and calypso through Carnival season, dancehall and roots reggae, kompa in Haiti, merengue and bachata in the Dominican Republic, bomba and plena in Puerto Rico, steelpan in Trinidad, rake-and-scrape in the Bahamas. At a dance or a live show, dress up rather than down.

In a rum shop, if you're with a group, buying a round is appreciated. Don't help yourself from someone else's bottle without being invited. If a festival is on — Carnival, Crop Over, Junkanoo, a village emancipation fête — book accommodation well ahead and expect roads to close and music to run late.

Markets, photographs and small courtesies

• Ask before photographing people. A polite request and showing them the picture afterwards usually gets a yes. Never photograph children without a parent's permission.
• Haggling is fine at craft stalls and souvenir markets, done with humour. Prices in shops, supermarkets, taxis and restaurants are fixed.
• Check the bill for a service charge before adding a tip. Where it isn't included, a tip is welcomed but not obligatory.
• Ask before picking fruit, flowers or shells. Many islands restrict taking coral, shells and marine life — check the local rules before you pocket anything.
• Follow the lead of those around you at church services, funerals and family gatherings rather than assuming.

A few island-by-island differences

• Jamaica: time-specific greetings, Sunday lunch as a fixture, patois peppering conversation.
• Trinidad and Tobago: Carnival culture, doubles at any hour, Auntie and Uncle used widely.
• Barbados: Crop Over in summer, cou-cou and flying fish, church dress taken seriously.
• Grenada, St Lucia, Dominica: English alongside French Creole; a greeting in patois is a gift.
• Martinique, Guadeloupe, Haiti: French and Kreyòl; bonjour on entry, every time.
• Cuba, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico: Spanish, with salsa, son, merengue and bachata everywhere.
• Aruba, Bonaire, Curaçao: Papiamento, Dutch and English, often all in one conversation.

Attitudes and laws around same-sex couples vary widely between islands and can be conservative. Check your own government's current travel advice for your destination before booking, and be guided by local norms once you arrive.

Practical things to carry with you

Pack one long-sleeved shirt or a light dress and a pair of closed shoes for church and smarter dinners, plus a wrap or scarf for air-conditioned buses and ferries. Carry small notes of local currency for markets and buses, and learn three greetings before you fly. In smaller towns, shops and many restaurants close on Sundays, so buy water and snacks on Saturday.

If you're invited to someone's home, take a small gift and offer to help. If you're travelling with a medical condition, arrange travel insurance and speak to your doctor about vaccinations and medication well before departure, and check official travel advice for anything you're unsure about. Above all, slow down, greet people properly, and let the island set the pace.

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